| Richard and Mayumi Heene were sentenced to jail | | | | has cost the lives of almost 5,000 coalition soldiers |
| this week. Ninety days for the husband, 20 days | | | | and tens of thousands of Iraqis. |
| for the wife. | | | | Enron? To this day, no one knows what it was |
| Our news cycle being what it is, you have | | | | that Enron really did, other than siphon money into |
| probably already forgotten that the heinous | | | | the pockets of its top executives. Yet (as Frank |
| Heenes are parents of the Balloon Boy, the | | | | Rich pointed out in the New York Times last |
| 6-year-old who touched off an international story | | | | weekend) the editors of Fortune Magazine voted |
| while safely hidden away in his attic. | | | | Enron the most innovative company in the United |
| Fitting that while the first decade of this century | | | | States six years running. |
| was dribbling away, the mendacious Eldrick "The | | | | Enron was a shell of a company. There was no |
| Weasel" Woods (The Golfer Formerly Known as | | | | there there. The company produced nothing, |
| Tiger) was watching his marriage and his | | | | owned nothing, accomplished nothing except to |
| endorsement deals fall apart, the Heenes were | | | | bring the state of California to the brink of |
| preparing for jail, Bernie Madoff was already in jail | | | | bankruptcy. |
| and George W. Bush was as invisible as it is | | | | How many of the biggest names in sports in the |
| possible to be for a man who was president of | | | | past decade were phony as three-dollar bills? |
| the United States only 11 months ago. | | | | Barry Bonds, Marion Jones, Roger Clemens, Mark |
| Such is the unravelling of the Decade of | | | | McGwire, Manny Ramirez. Now Woods himself has |
| Deception. Of fabrication, mendacity and untruth. | | | | been linked to Anthony Galea, a Canadian |
| Of Enron and Bernie Madoff, Earl Jones and | | | | physician who uses and dispenses HGH – |
| Vincent Lacroix. Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens. | | | | human growth hormone. |
| And the filthy rich bankers of Wall St., who came | | | | A coincidence? If there is one thing we have |
| up with a filthy lie – renamed toxic assets as | | | | learned from the past decade, it's that where |
| "derivatives" and very nearly brought the global | | | | there is smoke, there is fire. |
| economy to its knees. | | | | Lies aren't birthed in a vacuum. Liars thrive |
| Richard Heene, small-time schemer, thought he | | | | because they fill a need, because people want to |
| had it figured out. The rationale was mind-bending: | | | | believe. |
| Come up with a sufficiently large hoax and he | | | | Bernie Madoff, the biggest swindler of the decade, |
| could get his family onto "reality" TV, which is a | | | | did it by feeding people what they want. |
| whopper of a lie in the first place. | | | | Investors want to believe they can get a |
| Heene's problem? Too small a lie. To profit from | | | | 20-per-cent return on their dollar, year after year. |
| this mendacious decade, you had to tell lies so | | | | Golf fans wanted to believe that Tiger Woods |
| large that the rest of the world had no choice but | | | | was perfect. Home-owners wanted to believe |
| to swallow them. Fibs so all-encompassing that | | | | that housing prices would go up forever. |
| when your phony investment scheme begins to | | | | And far too many in this country, as well as |
| crumble, you are deemed too big to fail. | | | | south of the border, want to believe that a |
| Like the lies told by Woods and his team of spin | | | | television network that labels itself as a news |
| artists. When I wrote a column about Woods a | | | | outlet is really delivering news. But as soon as you |
| week ago, I was stunned by the response - | | | | say "Fox News," you have already told the first |
| more than 300 emails and they're still trickling in. | | | | lie. "Fox Propaganda" would be more accurate. |
| Very few disagreed with my take on Woods as | | | | Like most big-time lying, the distortions at Fox are |
| the sham of the decade, the man who was a | | | | backed by massive corporate money. Money is |
| huckster first and everything else second. Some | | | | where the lies begin and it works in insidious ways. |
| condemned his womanizing, although, in truth, the | | | | The BlackBerry ad uses the Beatles tune All You |
| women who have come forward so far don't | | | | Need Is Love to push a message exactly the |
| constitute an unusual total for a professional | | | | opposite of the one the Beatles intended. If love |
| athlete. | | | | is all you need, then why do you need a |
| Many more were upset by the hypocrisy. This is | | | | BlackBerry? |
| a man whose billion-dollar earnings were built on | | | | Unfortunately, the lying will go on because the |
| endorsements first, with golf a distant second. | | | | rewards are great, real punishment rare. Just this |
| Woods was the greatest huckster of the decade | | | | week, |
| because of his squeaky-clean image. It helped that | | | | Peter Hadekel pointed out in these pages the |
| people who play golf are well-heeled, but it was | | | | inadequacy of the fines levied on a group of |
| important that Woods seemed so perfect. | | | | Canadian banks and investment dealers who sold |
| Good-looking, multiracial, soft-spoken (except for | | | | $32 billion worth of toxic asset-backed commercial |
| the petulant tantrums), flawless in his personal life. | | | | paper. The fines totalled $138.8 million, a fraction |
| And there was that 1,000-watt smile. | | | | of the worth of "assets" that weren't assets at |
| When it all came undone after wife Elin Nordegren | | | | all. |
| took a golf club to his SUV, we discovered that | | | | At the beginning of this decade, I wondered aloud |
| Woods was perfectly in step with the decade of | | | | what we were going to call the first 10 years of |
| the big lie. He was not what he seemed, not | | | | the new millennium. The Aughts? Naughts? Zips? |
| remotely. | | | | Nothings? After 10 years of systematic, |
| Which made him pretty much like everyone else | | | | percolating, corrosive lies, the appellation is simple. |
| – or at least those with money and power | | | | The only name that fits the past decade is the |
| who spent the past 10 years acquiring more | | | | Zeros. |
| money and more power, mostly by piling one lie | | | | Soon we will face the Teens. And the first thing |
| atop another. | | | | we can look for is the slick, carefully orchestrated |
| Weapons of mass destruction? There were none | | | | "rehabilitation" of Weasel Woods (including the |
| – but the Bush administration kept lying about | | | | obligatory weepy appearance on Oprah), a public |
| them all the way to Baghdad. Nearly seven years | | | | remake for which his millions of lobotomized fans |
| later, President Barack Obama is still trying to | | | | are audibly panting – to be followed by a |
| disentangle the United States from a mess that | | | | brand-new, global Nike campaign. |